Realizations

Most of the time we worry about money, relationships, material things, what other people think, and the future that hasn't come. We forget about the present, what we should act upon to prepare for the future. To act means focusing on meaningful relationships by offering time to show how you appreciate them. Surround yourself with optimistic people that attracts nothing but positivity.

Today, I lost a dear friend and a former coworker because of cancer. When I learned she's in the hospital I rushed right away to see her but it was too late she passed away 2 hours before I arrived. She's one of the nicest people I know who's very positive about life despite suffering. This reminded me again that life gets shorter everyday as time goes by.

When my younger brother got sick, my whole world shattered in front of me. I was emotionally paralyzed for over a year. I lost a job, got in trouble, I lost friendships the list goes on. I forgot how to survive. There's not a single day that my eyes wouldn't shed tears. It was an everyday struggle that nobody understood.

One thing that made me through was the thought that I am my brother's biggest success story. Reason being is he brought me in America with my insistence that I want to see Universal Studios. So he got me a ticket as a gift because I passed my licensure for RNs in the Philippines. He took the biggest responsibility of bringing me in the US with only $200 in my pocket. I imagine how he felt like when I told him that I'm gonna stay to figure things out in the land of the free. He believed in me and let me fly until I soar on my own. If not because of him I will not be where I am today.

He was my number one support when no one else can. I was his older sister but he treated me as his younger sister by protecting me and hiding me under his wings when everyone turned their backs on me. My motivation to live when he got into a coma for 6 months was to fulfill my promise by becoming a nurse. I got my license. I don't know how I made it, for all I know is I struggled so much studying and absorbing all the medical terms knowing that he's on a ventilator fighting for his life.

Looking back on how he lived. He was full of life, full of energy, and full of love. He was a giver.

Before, I never knew the meaning of love until I lost him. Oftentimes when we go to someone's funeral and give condolences to families, we don't have a single clue how bad they are hurting inside. Losing a job, losing a house, and losing someone that never cared for you are nothing but replaceable. However, losing a love one who cares about you so much is the most heart wrenching feeling you could ever imagine knowing that you'll never see them again.

Only with time that one can be healed when someone you love dies. It is a very slow process. There are lots of tests and one of those is friendship. Some people in your life will leave you when you don't have anything to offer them while some will remain because they care.

The most important lesson I learned is to keep on moving forward no matter how high the bumps may be. Life is never created fairly, you have to create your own and choose what road to take for in the end it's either you'll endure the struggle or enjoy the comfort.

Sarah